Love is what makes the world go round

Recently I have had several discussions with people about parenting. Mostly mothers who are searching so hard to find the correct formula to be the best mother. To not feel like they are failing their children. To not feel like they are failing as women to raise their children.

And then there are others who are not happy with the way their parents raised them. How they blame their parents for the way their lives have turned out. How they are ashamed of their parents and want to disown them. Condemning them. Judging them.

Making me think about myself as a parent and all the insecurities and baggage I bring with me as a mother into my children’s lives. How once I became a parent I understood for the first time that my parents did not know it all because I don’t know it all. How sometimes I still feel like that little girl reaching my arms up for my mother to pick me up and hold me. Only to remember I have no mother. No one to hold me and comfort me. And how horrible that makes me feel. How I wish I still had a mother, whether good or bad, because I know there is nothing like a mother’s love.

How sometimes I feel like the child who wants to be loved. And not the mother. How sometimes I feel as if time has stopped and I am not aging at all but then I look around me and see my son is almost as tall as I am. My daughter is developing into a young lady and I know for a fact that time is not standing still and if I view my life through their growth I will see that time is marching on. And that I have to stop trying to be a perfect mother and just be a mother so my children can always know they are loved. Even when I am not a good mother to them. Even when I lose my temper with them. Even when I am sad or disappointed. Letting them see my imperfections so they don’t grow up believing they can be perfect. Explaining to them I am human just as they are, imperfections and all. But at the same time being there for them as best I can. Always. Letting them know they are loved.

I look at myself in the mirror as a mother, as a parent and I realise I am doing the best I can with the resources I have. I can only give them as much as I have to give. Nothing more or less. Reassuring myself I am doing the best I can with all that I have. Acknowledging  the same was true for my mother and father as was the same for their parents and so on and so on. Condemning myself not. Condemning them not. Being grateful for my children for teaching me the power of forgiveness and love.

For all the parents out there that are feeling like they have failed their children or are failing their children I strongly believe we are all doing the best we can with what we have to give. No more. No less. And at the end of the day all our children want is to know they belong. That they are loved. That they are not alone. And it doesn’t cost anything to do that. Not a thing. Just being present is enough for them.

So here’s to every mother in the world, love your children. That’s all they want. And the same is true for fathers as well.  Love is what makes our world go round. Nothing more. Nothing less. Nothing else. Only Love.