Yesterday when I got home from work, I told myself to have an early night. As a matter of fact I had promised myself I would have an early night. But once I got the children settled and sat down to work on my computer, it was about 10 pm and I needed some me time. Time to unwind. Time to figure out what was going on with my friends on Facebook, around the world and in general to catch up with all the things I had not done during the day.
My body was telling me it was very tired. My brain was working in overdrive to keep up with all the thoughts that were whizzing through it. But I resisted the signs. Ignored them completely because one thing was leading me to another. I kept saying only 5 more minutes and when that 5 minutes elapsed, I would tell myself just another 5 more minutes.
My body was begging me to stop. To go to bed. To rest. To allow it time to rejuvenate. But I still could not resist looking at one more site or writing one more thing. Until as I was typing at about 11.05, everything around me just went black. My computer screen made that horrible sound it makes before it crashes. And then to my horror crashed right in the middle of my writing. The lights in the house went out. And I found myself sitting in absolute darkness. A blackout.
The storm had already passed us by earlier in the day so the power cut was completely unexpected from a logical perspective but from a spiritual perspective, I knew it was completely to be expected because I had been interfering with my inner peace. My inner quiet. The need for my body to rest and revive itself.
I didn’t panic. As a matter of fact I did nothing but sit there until a knowing smile crept across my face. I sat in that darkness knowing the Universe was sending me a direct message to just stop. It took away all the distractions that were keeping me from resting and shut everything down for me. Knowing I was incapable of doing it myself, the Universe took the decision away from me. I inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. Accepting the darkness and stillness I found myself in. Accepting the message to stop and so I did. Appreciating that moment of silence. Of nothingness but everything.
My husband came walking through with a lighter. I asked him to light the candle I always have on my desk. Not for light but for meditative purposes. He lit my candle and I switched for a bit to my tablet to look at family photographs. To just wind myself down some more. And then I decided to just go to bed with only my candle as a means of seeing anything in my otherwise darkened home.
I felt slightly cheated because I was unable to do write in my grateful journal. My 50 year old eyes are not capable of seeing anything written in the low light of a candle. But I accepted I had put myself in this position because I had not listened to every atom in my body telling me, asking me to go to bed early. To relax early. So I did my grateful journal in my mind then wrote in my little one liner of the day book that I was grateful for the power cut because it made me stop. It also made me recognise just how much we take the things we cannot see and appreciate such as electricity for granted. How we expect it to be there every single second of the day and when it is not we realise just how much it powers our lives.
And once I wrote that down, I blew out my meditative candle and went to sleep waking only when I heard the whirring sound of the electricity coming back on in the wee hours of the morning. I got out of bed and turned all the lights out with gratitude and peace then went back to bed appreciating all that I can do with the power of electricity and even without it.
Knowing when my body is telling me to rest I need to rest and not resist, I must take heed before the choice is taken away from me. Feeling very content, I fell into a deep sleep. Grateful for receiving the gift of the Universe to stop in the complete darkness of a power cut. Namaste.
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