Fear creates all kinds of negative energy within us. Often manifesting the very outcome we most fear. The very outcome we do not want to happen.
Fear opens us up to all the fear so prevalent in our world today. Limiting our beliefs and our choices because it forces us to stay within the confines of our limited three dimensional physical being. Rather than accepting that we are much more than our physical. Much more than the limited experiences we may have as individuals.
Fear is a conscious choice to stay in the darkness and to breed more negativity. And it is so tempting to remain in a state of fear because we are often validated when we come from a place of being a victim than when we come from a place of owning our shortcomings and acknowledging our greatness.
Last night I was so angry with certain events that have been occurring in my life that I snapped and let out such rage that I felt like the little girl from the Exorcist. I was surprised my head did not start spinning as hers did. But I noticed when I filled with such rage, my whole body became stiff and brittle. My insides felt like they were going to burn up and I found I was grinding my teeth. My whole body was rigid with fear I realized. And it did not feel good in anyway.
So why do we get angry? Why do we allow ourselves to become mired in so much fear? How does it happen and more importantly how do we get ourselves out of such states? Last night after looking at myself from the outside in. After seeing the concern on the faces of my children, I knew I had to step back and ask myself what was truly the cause of my anger. And the only answer that came to me was fear.
Fear that I am never going to please certain people in my life. Fear of where my life is going. Fear of not fulfilling my dreams. Fear of absorbing some of the negative energy that is swirling around me. Fear of fear. And it was only this morning when I woke up that I was able to reach this conclusion. To understand because I was not centered last night. Because I allowed the negative energy of certain people to flow into me, I became exactly what I did not want. Exactly what I was trying to resist. I became exactly what I thought I was better than because I had judged, condemned and by doing so became the mirror of what I was resisting.
So this morning after doing the Chopra meditation, I have decided to do my best to breathe through my judgment of others. To breathe through any comments that come from them. To breathe through my fears and just make the conscious choice to be where I am as I am for that moment. To not project into the future. To not dwell in the past. To try to find forgiveness, empathy and love in my heart even when I feel like there is nothing left.
There is no one outside of me who can control my emotions unless I allow them. Last night I made the choice to join with the negative rather than consciously choosing to remove myself from it. I forgive myself for doing so recognizing that the choice I made was an invaluable lesson to me. Allowing me to recognise my actions are controlled by the choices I make. Conscious choice is always available to me especially during those times when I feel like I have no choices.
By asking myself in my darkest hour, will this choice bring fulfillment and happiness to me and to those affected by my choice. To step back from the situation I find myself in. To take the time to breathe through it. To make choices made with full awareness rather than from a place of fear.
Thank you Deepak Chopra for helping me to know when my choices are made from the heart and with intention, they will be the best choice for me. And even when I make a bad choice, I can always shift the outcome by consciously making a different choice.
Today I make great choices because they are made with full awareness. Not from fear. Not from expectation. Not from judgment. But from full awareness. Namaste
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