The howling wind and letting go

Why is the sound of the wind so unnerving. So jarring. So unsettling. Why is it that it pulls me out of my deepest sleep? Causing me to sit up and listen. Objects crashing.  Unknown. Breaking. Scattering. Swirling sounds. Unrest. Chaos. Pandemonium.

Why does the wind make me feel jittery. On edge? When it is a part of nature just like me.

Why is the sound so violent? Like a freight train speeding by my windows when it is a part of nature just like me?

Why does the wind come for days at a time? Destroying. Ripping the leaves off the trees. Burning them until they die. What is the purpose of the wind? Why does it leave me feeling uneasy?

The past few days, like the wind, my insides have been in a whirl. Being tossed around.  Upside down. Inside out. I feel like I am being blown away just like the leaves speeding past my window. Everything around me is moving so fast while I am standing still. Being assaulted by the wind. No matter how hard I try to stop the chaos around me, I have no strength. No power to do so. So I stand in the wind. Windswept. Exhausted and tired.

Contemplating there is no other sound like the sound of the howling wind. No other sound that makes me feel so vulnerable. What will it destroy? What will it ruin? What am I meant to do to get out of the howling wind? Have I brought the wind here? Caused it to kick up? Who do I think I am?

Why do we have the wind for days at a time? Blowing, Howling. Pushing. Mixing with the North air so it is chilly. Cutting. Unforgiving.

What is the purpose of the howling wind? Does anyone know? And why does it come and stay for so long?

I woke up this morning with the sound of the wind as I went to sleep with it last night. Its pounding and relentless nature forcing me to questions why it is so unsettling for me? So I decided to explore my apprehension and fears about the wind. Only to discover the wind unnerves me because it is something I cannot see except for it blowing the leaves and trees. Bending them near to the ground like they are reeds rather than trees. Showing me its brute force.

I accept the wind unnerves me because I cannot really feel it until it slices across my check. Its chill penetrating my skin forcing me to wrap up tight. Showing me its might. I cannot touch it but I know it’s there because it rips things out of my hands if I don’t hold on tight. Rips flowers off the trees. Destroys that which does not yield to its might.

I stop and inhale deeply. Quieting the confusion and noise in my brain so I can truly absorb the wind and then I smell it, feel it.  Its scent like a fresh ocean breeze. Atmosphere. Ozone. Fresh. But yet it still unnerves me. Why ?

Inhaling once again and this time with a long exhale. And then I allow myself to go into the silence. The silence that always exists even in the howling wind and I embrace it. I close my eyes and that’s when I hear, I am afraid of the wind, unnerved by the wind because I have no control over what the wind will do, what the wind will feel like, when it comes and when it goes. I realize it is an abstract part of nature that exists but can’t be touched even though it is felt. I realize it is because it is cleansing the atmosphere. Sweeping away all that is no longer necessary. Making space for all the new.

Making things ugly before they can become beautiful. Making space for the new while getting rid of the old. And that’s why the wind affects me so much because it reminds me that in order to move to the new, to embrace what is I must let go of what isn’t. Loosen my grip on all the things I can’t control and let the wind carry them away to where they are meant to be. And bring forth that which is meant to be.

I inhale and exhale again knowing the wind is here to remind me to let go of everything I no longer need so they flutter away gently in the breeze rather than being ripped out of my hands. So I let go and let be in honour and respect of the wind and the infinite source of abundance. I trust and let go. Namaste.

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A lesson in faith

Yesterday morning I met the most amazing young man. My taxi drier from Armenia. He had just completed his night job as Head Valet and was starting his second job driving taxi for the day. And I had the pleasure of engaging him in conversation by asking him when he ever sleeps.

By asking that question, I opened the door for nearly an hour of enlightenment from my unexpected angel. My inspiration from an unexpected source. Reminding me to never judge anyone until you have walked in his shoes. My taxi driver was born in Jordan but grew up in Iraq and because he was Christian rather than Muslim, his existence and his families existence was not easy.

His mother died from cancer when he was twelve years old. His father, he said, never got over the death of his mother so within four months he followed her dying of a broken heart. He told me how every day after his mother’s death, his father would say your mother is coming for me. She came for me last night in my dream, and soon I will be with her. And so said so done. His father died leaving him and two sisters and a brother.

My taxi driver was only twelve years old but had to get his father prepared for the funeral. In doing so he missed three days of school. On his return he was trying to find out what he had missed and because he was Christian and living in a Muslim country, he attended a school with Muslim teachers. His teacher became angry with him for speaking in class and basically called him a waste just like his father and berated the twelve year old broken boy so much that he snapped and beat the teacher to a pulp. The teacher was taken to the hospital and my taxi driver was thrown out of school. But worse he was forced to flee because his teacher was from a respectable Muslim family. And because of what he had done to the teacher, my taxi driver had put his life in danger.

He existed on the fringes of society for quite some time. Unemployable. Stateless and lost. But never lost his faith and belief in miracles. And then three years ago he sought refugee status in the United States as a result of a dream he had showing the name Houston. He was granted asylum in the United States . In Houston no less.

He entered the United States three years ago speaking no English. From a different culture.  A different world. Understanding no one. But because he has tremendous faith and trust in God, he just prayed and asked for guidance until he worked his way up from being a stock person in a shop to head valet at a major hotel. He also owns his own taxi that is paid off. And he supports his sisters back in Jordan by sending them money every week.

Despite all the adversity he has been through. Despite the hard knocks. Despite the path he has been given, not once did I hear my taxi driver complain. Not once did I hear him try to blame anyone for the tragedy he has endured. Not once did he feel sorry for himself or ask for pity.

Instead he looks at life as a gift. A gift from God. He said everything happens for a reason. Everything is in God’s hands. He doesn't worry. He just knows that if he acts from a place of purity and is always giving, he will always receive back what he gives and then some. And life has shown him that on many occasions. He does not lose faith.

He asks God for what he wants and then goes about doing and when the time is right he is always rewarded according to how he has lived. I got out of the taxi with that young man yesterday morning feeling like I had been in the presence of an angel.  A messenger from the Universe. A man of faith. A sage wise beyond his years reminding me to behold all the abundance that surrounds me. To be grateful for everything that comes my way and to be open and receptive to the gifts and treasures of the Universe because in doing so I am opening myself to receive the love and light that is ever present in our Universe. Allowing me to  shine that love and light on others as well. As my taxi driver did for me yesterday morning.

Life may not be easy. Life may take us down paths we never dreamed possible. But when I meet people like my taxi driver yesterday who has had to find his way since he was twelve years old and still retain the twinkle of possibility I saw shining in his eyes, I know the Universe is reminding me that life is all about the choices I make even in my greatest adversity. Life is about faith, love and trust.

Remembering always as Emmanuel Teney says, “ As your faith is strengthened, you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit.”  Namaste

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Without purpose, there is no true happiness or success

Happiness is not something that can be pursued. Rather it is that which is found when we are at peace with ourselves and with the world. Happiness is not measured by material gain or loss. Not by power or lack thereof. Not by privilege or poverty.
Happiness just is. It can not be measured. Contained or contemplated for too long because once we think it, we lose it to our subconscious. Because we begin to overanalyse the state we are in. We try to find out why we are happy in the moment rather than being happy all the time. Trying too hard to contain it rather than glory in it.
Happiness comes when we least expect it. When we let go of all expectation and reason. It comes when we sit and contemplate the rain. When we listen to the birds. When we accept we are one in the same and there is really no seperation between any of us. Happiness is not something that is meant to be constant because the only constant in our lives is change.
So when we spend all of our days searching for happiness, like the butterfly it will elude us because happiness is not found. It just is. The pursuit of happiness versus the pursuit of meaning has been playing on my mind for the last few days spurred first by a post about a man who helped to change my life many years ago. A man I never met. A man whose experience was so far from mine yet we shared a common bond that goes back to the search for meaning - our search for our place in the world. And it came from a very wise Jewish man who endured the Holocast and came out not as a bitter man but as a better and changed man. A grown man called Viktor Frankl.
Viktor Frankl came into my life when I was first discovering Spirituality and the quest for more meaning in my life. For some reason I was drawn to his story. Only to discover it was because I was on the same journey - trying to find meaning in my life. Once I read his story, I knew I was being led to him for a reason. To learn that no matter who I may blame for my shortcomings or dislike because of theirs, the person I am really grappling with is none other than myself.
So whenever I am confronted by hostile situations, I listen carefully to the words being spoken and then I ask myself is this situation about me or is it about the person who is accusing. When I believe it is more about the person, I know no matter how much I may try to explain my perspective, until that person is ready to see the battle is coming from within himself or herself, I will never make any progress so I walk away and leave the person to deal with his or her own demons.
And the same is true about me. If I find I am defensive and attacking another, I know it is because there is a deep rooted fear within me that is coming to light to allow me to learn more about myself. To face my own demons. Often very difficult to recognise and even more difficult to accept and change.
Then Viktor Frankl left me again only to come back to me yesterday through a blog posted by a mother, Devon Corneal, on Huffington Post called, The Pursuit of Happiness. This mother wrote from her heart that she did not want her children to pursue happiness because in her opinion it is fleeting but what she did want her children to pursue is meaning. Her article resonated with me so much because I knew it was Viktor Frankl speaking to me again.
Asking me to remember more than anything the search for purpose, for meaning in this life is the only means to happiness because without purpose, I will never know true happiness. Asking me to remember always,
“Don't aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one's personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one's surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long-run—in the long-run, I say!—success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think about it”
― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

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Even on our most turbulent days, there is always a blue sky

On Sunday morning I took off from Bermuda. Flying directly into torrential rain. Obscuring the window with what looked like a river as we sliced through the downpour. Just like that what was right in front of me was no longer available for me to see. Hidden in plain sight.
We rose into the clouds taking even more light out of the already darkened day. And then we were engulfed in clouds - heavy dark clouds. Shrouding us in the heaviness of their clutch. Pushing and tossing the airplane  as if the airplane was a tinker toy. Showing us the might of nature against the inventions of men. Of all that is there and was there before us and will be there long after we are gone.
At first I was afraid. Nervous because of the turbulence and the heavy clouds. I am always nervous when I fly without my family. But then I said a silent prayer to the Universe to allow me to accept what is and to let go of what I can not control. I closed my eyes and fell into a deep sleep. Allowing myself to drift into the nothingness that is all. And when I woke up, we were flying high about the clouds - in the beauty and vastness that exists high above us at all times. The sky blue and endless and I felt a tremendous sense of peace wash over me.
I whispered a silent thanks to the Universe for answering my prayers. Thanking it for allowing me to see first hand even on those days when we can't see far ahead. When all around us is turbulent and dark. When the rain is obscuring our vision. When our plans become dishevelled, if we are patient enough and have faith and trust,  the pathway will clear. The clouds will dissipate. The rain will stop and we will see the beauty of what always exists. What is always there even when we can't see it. Allowing us to understand why we had to experience the pain, the upset, the hurt, the turbulence and the unknowingness.
Life takes us on journeys far away from what we are comfortable with in order for us to grow. Takes us through the turbulence and the rain so we can appreciate the calm and the sun. So we can appreciate that leaving people, place and things is just what we need in order to make way for the more that is available to us all. That sometimes we grow in different directions.
And once I got this and looked out the window, the clouds below us had changed from gray to white - patchy not heavy, allowing me to see the ocean below. Letting me know I am on  a journey, an ever changing one, constantly evolving so I can embrace the magnificence that I am and was sent here to be. And to know even on my most turbulent days, there is always a blue sky ready to return when the time is right. Namaste.

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Starting all over again

I started to write a blog last night and my computer crashed right in the middle of me getting in the flow. I was so shocked because that's never happened to me before. Words, thoughts, stripped from me before I had the chance to fully develop them. Stolen from me before I knew where they were taking me. Devastated because I felt they were taking me someplace I had not been before and would probably never go again.
So I stopped and breathed. Assessing the moment and the why. And then I knew when my computer crashed the words, thoughts were taking me where I was not meant to be. And the Universe intervened to put me on the path I needed to be on. So I sucked up my pride and my hurt and started all over again. This time from a different place. From a different angle.
First listening to the silence. Then when I felt the words coming again. I just let them flow. Realising that sometimes where we think we are heading is not where we are meant to be. And when we keep heading in the direction we are not meant to be heading, we run head long into a brick wall knocking us flat on our backs. Shocking us back into our existence so we can see we were not going where our heart was telling us to go. Not doing what felt right for us. Failed to listen to the warning signs and take heed of them. Instead we plowed along until we could plow no more. Until the Universe intervened and caused us to stop. To be still. To listen. To fall flat on our backs so we could get up off our backs again. Dust ourselves off and start all over again.
Hopefully this time listening to the warning signs. This time taking heed. This time trusting that all knowing voice inside - always there for us. That same voice that was telling me to remember to save my words. To stop every few seconds and save what I was typing but because I was on a roll, because the juices were flowing and the words were spilling on the page, I did not want to stop. Could not stop. Refused to stop because I was so excited about where I was going that I failed to see what was happening all around me until my computer took matters into its own hand. Crashed on me. And my words and excitement were no more. Leaving me speechless and devastated. Watching my screen spew out a strange language.
Until all that remained was the all too familiar and dreaded screen that says, "He's dead Jim." And my heart nearly stopped. My excitement drained right out of my toes and I was about to give up. To shut down my computer when I was told otherwise. Told I was being given an invaluable lesson that I needed to remember for myself. And one that I needed to share. So I started again. Listening carefully to my inner voice. Allowing it the freedom and scope to use me as an instrument for its message. And then I started to type again. Feeling hope flooding through me.
Letting me know even when we feel we can't go on. Even when we feel like the world around us has grown cold and dark. When those who we loved are no longer in  our lives, there is always reason to be grateful. Always reason to continue because each one of us is here to teach and learn. To learn and teach. To stop and save.  To save and stop. To share and love. To love and share.
And so here I am again in the flow. A different flow than what I had anticipated but a flow nonetheless because I am accepting my life is unfolding as it is meant to unfold at this moment in time in my life and I am grateful to be living and breathing through it. Grateful for having the wherewithal to write another blog and just go for it.
Accepting sometimes we have to wipe the slate clean as my computer did for me last night in order to start all over again in the way that allows our souls to sing songs of freedom and acceptance.  To embrace the mystery that is us. Namaste.
Happy Monday everyone from Houston Texas.

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The world wide web connecting us

There are a lot of light workers emerging. Globally. People from all walks of life unifying across the globe through  spirit. Energy. Connecting in ways we believed impossible before. Although we have always been inherently and inextricably linked, it is through the world wide web, we are truly witnessing and seeing that we are.

Receiving validation and connection almost instantaneously through the Power of the worldwide web. The web that is weaving us back together. Showing us how alike we really are regardless of where we come from. Regardless of our social standing. Regardless of our race, creed or religious beliefs. At the base of all of us is the need to love and to be loved.

There is a groundswell of people emerging opening dialogue for people that would never have been opened before. Challenging us to think with our hearts rather than their heads. Enabling wonder, love and joy to spread throughout our globe. From one continent to the next. One from Island to the next. People of like mind and similar energies are connecting like never before. Finding each other. Stumbling upon each other.  Being brought together to help with our shift in consciousness. The web is showing us there is a web beyond the web formed way before the human web was designed. And that’s why we yearn for it. Spend hours on it because we are yearning for love, for validation, for connection.

The world wide web created by humans and the world wide web that was there before humans invented it are joining forces to opening the door to the more. To the shift necessary to move us forward to spread love, peace, acceptance, forgiveness, compassion, surrender, and validation. Connecting people of all walks of life, globally every single second, minute, hour of every day. 

And because of this growing positive and light energy, there is an equal and opposite swell of negative and dark energy. Contrasting against the light. Dueling with it. With us to see who we are and who we are not. Causing us to question whether we are doing what we are meant to be doing. Causing us to listen to our heads rather than our hearts. Opposing all the light that is swirling round us. Stabbing at it. Jabbing at us. Asking us to leave the light and embrace the dark.

Illustrating for us in ways incomprehensible before about the dichotomy of life, the duality of our existence, the closer we get to the prize. By showing us how much further away from the prize we become when we are too focused on the prize rather than on the journey, we lose out on the gifts, treasures and abundance of the Universe. Because we end up compromising who and what we are. We end up looking so blindly ahead that we don’t give ourselves the time to enjoy what is right in front of us. Waiting for us.

We become selfish. Embracing the scarcity mentality. Hoarding for ourselves rather than sharing the love and talents we have with everyone so they in turn can grow with us rather than against us.

And that's why there are a lot of light workers emerging in our world. Connecting us in ways we did not understand until the emergence of the world wide human web mirroring the universal web that existed way before the one we have today.  Pulling us. Willing us. Asking us to go within. To see that we are truly and honestly beautiful just the way we are when we accept who we are rather than being something we are not and can never be.

Showing us we are inextricably woven and connected no matter where we come from, no matter what we believe. No matter our standing in life. We are of the energy that created our world. Each tiny atom reacting to the energy we put into it. And that’s why I embrace and love the light workers, including myself, who are coming forward raising our awareness to the field of possibility that exists within us all when we believe. When we share. When we love. When we have faith, trust and believe. Namaste

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Life is a living meditation

We are only ever being led back home to ourselves. Everything, everyone is here to teach us something. Life is a living meditation. Telling us to stop. To slow down so we can experience the fullness of our meditation. Embrace who we are and be available to ourselves.  To allow our heart centers to open to the voice of the Divine that resides within us all.

We have both an inner eye and inner ear. And when we allow ourselves to be guided by both, we become aware that what is happening to us and around us is an opportunity to feel who we are. To be available to the emotions we are feeling. Seeing what is there to teach us. Embracing it and accepting it as a pivotal part of our evolution.

All we need to know and believe is that we are a part of the Divine. No matter what comes our way, we will be okay. The more we embrace our fears, our insecurities, our hurt, our pain, the less their dominance will be over us. Any and all things we embrace no longer have control over us. 

Fear is natural.On Super Soul Sunday, Panache Desai told the story of the zebra being hunted by cheetahs. How the zebras see the clear and present danger of the cheetah hunting them down so their brain puts them in flight mode. Telling them to run. So they do. And when the danger is no longer there, they shake it off and go back to being in the present moment. Forgetting about the fear that had been. Letting go because the fear no longer serves them.

We, as humans, don’t focus on our heart centers imbued with love and forgiveness. Instead we allow our brain, our thoughts to hold onto fear way beyond the time it is necessary. Overriding our heart centers. When the danger situation is no longer present in our lives, we still carry that fear with us and extend it on to others to validate the fear. We look for reasons in other circumstances or people or continue to blame someone who may have forgotten about why we are angry with them for the fear we still carry. We need to learn to shake what no longer serves us off and move on.

Fear does not need to dominate our lives. We need to accept we are put in exactly the place we need to be to love the people we are around.

When we can shift our way to believing life is just wonderful, to be present. Being fully available to and for the experience. Learning that life isn't just about the lessons we are meant to learn but it is about the experience.  We begin to understand that Life is all about our magnificence. Only then can we come into our own. Letting go of our programmed and deepest fear that we are brilliant beyond measure.

Everything that is happening is supposed to happen and no matter what unfolds in our lives, remembering always our lives are a part of the greater plan. Energy is the essence of who we are, what we are, connecting us all together. And when only one of us changes through the thread of life we affect every living thing in our energy space because we are all interconnected. What one does affects the lives of us all. We must learn to trust the Universe is on our side. Accept that we are all Energy emanating from the One Source. 

Embracing the concept we are many. And even more importantly, we are one. Namaste.

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