Here's to lazy days

There is nothing like a lazy day. When you have no plans. No demands. Nothing that is causing you angst. When you feel free and clear. When your insides  feel clean. Uncluttered. When you feel like a child with not a care or worry in the world. That is Nirvana. Bliss.

I am learning to have those days more and more because I am learning to release attachment, expectation and ego. I am learning that the more I accept and process the feeling of detachment I earn the wings to fly. To not feel caged in.

I am learning that when someone does something to me that disappoints or infuriates me it’s because I expected a different outcome rather than seeing the situation from the other person’s perspective. When I put myself in their position I realise they needed to do or say what they did because they needed to feel worthy for themselves. Not for me.

I am learning that people do things to help themselves grow not to help me grow. So I am learning to not put my feelings or wishes on them. Sometimes, I will admit, it is easier to do with certain people and situations than others. I find that if I am deeply involved with a person, my expectations of them are much greater and therefore my reactions to them can sometimes be too volatile or too judgemental. So what I am learning is that I have to step back from the situation or person and give myself time to breathe. Time to process the situation and see it from their perspective rather than my own.

And the more I practice this, the more I feel my insides are getting cleaner. My reactions are becoming less volatile. The disappointment, anger and frustration are dissipating a lot quicker. And I feel just like the lazy days I am experiencing more and more. Free and satisfied with where I am.

Because what I realise more and more is that lazy days have always been there for me to enjoy but I have been so caught up in believing I had to be doing things to prove myself to others. To give the appearance of being busy so that I could be considered worthy. But now I know lazy days are synonymous with feeling good about myself. Giving myself permission to just be. Without expectation. Without ego. With detachment from all that is going on around me. Knowing I can't change anything except my reaction to it.

And you know what it feels so good to be like this. To be in the moment. To enjoy every single second of my life. I know I will not be able to be in this state all the time but when I achieve it, I will enjoy every single minute of it. As I intend today to have a lazy day. No demands. No expectations. No plans. Just going with the flow. And see where the moment takes me.

Here’s to lazy days. Freedom  from ego and expectation. Liberation from the shackles of my own mind. Here’s to Bliss. And accepting I am worthy enough to have lazy days.