Hooked on Mad Men

Okay I have a real confession to make. I am totally and utterly hooked on The Mad Men  series. I don’t usually watch television because I  tell myself I am too busy to do something so trivial.

I was in a client meeting a couple of years ago and the client mentioned that she loved the Mad Men series. At the time I had never heard of it. But she is someone that I respect so the name of the show stayed hidden within my consciousness.

A year later I was in a video shop and I saw ads for Mad Men. Triggering my memory but I cast it aside. Then I went into another shop, Banana Republic, and they had the Mad Men Collection of clothing. Romantic, womanly type clothing. Fabulous accessories. Suits with a little faux fur around them. Dresses that looked so elegant and feminine at the same time. Classic styles with a twist. Exactly my style. I fell in love with the fashions.  Heightening the memory of my dinner with the client. And I knew something was willing me to get the boxed sets of the series. So I bought all four seasons. Not even worrying that I may not like any of it.

And then my job shut down and I went into a hiatus - trying to find me. Writing like crazy. Questioning like crazy. Searching everywhere. For nine months. And I forgot all about Mad Men.

I started working in the corporate world again in January of this year and bumped into the same client from a few years back at a conference in April. And just seeing her reawakened my consciousness to The Mad Men series. When I got home, the boxed sets kept calling my name. I resisted them for a short time more telling myself I was too busy to watch. Feeling guilty about wasting time watching TV instead of doing something more important like write.  

But the urge to watch it was too great so I gave in. And when I did, I was taken aback by the tone of the series. At first I thought it was sexist, racist and condensing. But something about Don Draper, Betty, Joan, Roger and Peggy kept me watching. I wanted and needed to see what their characters were all about. The glamour of these people was so alluring. Yet it was irritating at the same time. There was an air of mystery lingering under the surface that I could not quite get enough of so I had no choice but to keep watching. By the time I got to episode 3, I was hooked.

Each character on Mad Men is so complex. And that complexity can even be found in the background characters. Each intertwined in ways they don't even understand. With layers of stuff going on beneath the surface that it is fascinating to watch. They are depictions of the way people lived in the early 60s. The beginning of my era. Me being a child of the 60s. And in some ways they remind me of the same struggles we are facing today. Fighting the demons of self, where we fit into the grand scheme of things. Ego stroking. Love. Hate. The trials and tribulations of marriage. The challenges of children. And parenthood. The challenges of image. The challenges of a career. Of facing the person in the mirror and knowing who that person is. Of forgiveness. It has me hooked because I am ready for the messages that I am getting from it. Recognising now I had to wait until I ready to receive them.

Sometimes I see myself in Don Draper. Other times I see myself in Betty. Other times in Peggy. And Joan. Letting me know that we are constantly changing. Our roles constantly reversing. Reminding me to treat others as I want to be treated because one day I will be faced with that person’s challenges . To recognise that every person that comes into my life is there for a reason. Either to reflect who I am or who I do not want to be. 

There's a little something about me that I can see in each one of the characters and that's why I am rooting for them because all of us want to succeed and all of us has something that we are suppressing about who we really are and what we really want out of life. And that's why I am hooked.

Mad Men is well worth watching and I'm glad I followed my instincts and got the series.

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Closing and Opening

I have a ritual. Every night I close the blinds in my house. On all 44 windows. I walk from one to the other shutting out the outside world. Honing in on the inside and intimate world of me and my family. Allowing myself to feel safe and cocooned from everything that is going on outside of me and my family. Outside of my home. Allowing me to focus on calming my thoughts. Reflecting on the day. The coziness of home. The comfort of home and family. Releasing any tensions without fear of reprehension.

Every morning when I wake up I open the blinds in my office. Slowly opening my mind to the outside. Readying myself  to see what the day brings. Readying myself to see the dawning of a new day. Readying myself to start inviting the outside back into my life. Readying myself to embrace all that is outside of me and my family. Readying myself to the light of a new day.

As the morning progresses and my family begins to wake, I walk around to the rest of the windows opening the blinds allowing the full outside in. Seeing the new day from different vantage points.

Every day I carry out this ritual. Feeling uncomfortable if I don’t do it. Feeling like something is missing if I don’t. I know I need to close out the outside at night both metaphorically and physically. The act of closing down the blinds in my house does that for me. It provides me with the physical act of saying good bye to the outside. Allowing me to go to a place deep within me to process what has happened during my day without any outside influences  - which is why I rarely talk on the telephone to anyone at night. And then when it is time for my family to separate. The children in bed. My husband doing his thing. I have the time to be alone. To contemplate. To write my grateful journal. To do what I need to wind the day down. To wind my mind down.

But then when I awake in the morning, the closed down house feels like I am hemmed in so I need to open the blinds. I need to let the light of the new day, even if it is grey, to come through my windows. Stream through my consciousness. Waking me up to going outside of me and my family again. I need to mentally prepare myself for going out there again. Out in the outside world. Opening the blinds provides me with the physical means of remembering I will be starting over again. A new day. But I have made peace with nature watching it change even before I step outside the door. Letting me know that change is good. Change is necessary. As long as we take the time to be with ourselves, nothing on the outside can affect us unless we allow it. Unless it is time for it to impact us.

Remembering that we have to open and close ourselves in order to know ourselves. In order to know who we are and what we are capable of. My ritual of closing and opening the blinds does that for me. Because it lets me know to every ending there is a beginning and to every beginning there is an ending. Opening and Closing. Closing and Opening. Embracing the process of change through my simple ritual of closing and opening my blinds every day.

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Life lessons from a toilet

At work there is a particular toilet in the ladies room that does not flush on the first flush.  Or if you flush it too gingerly. It has to be flushed a certain way. If not whatever was left in there remains long after the culprit has gone.

Frequently, I walk into that stall because it is the first stall and find it has not been flushed properly. And it used to irritate the life out of me because I don’t like seeing anyone else’s business. Nor do I want to see anyone else’s business. But I like that first stall because it’s the first one I come to particularly on those days when I have waited too long and every step counts.

So I have been thinking a lot about that stall. Trying to figure out why it bothers me so much. And what it is trying to teach me.

And then I realised that bathroom stall was not meant to anger me but to remind me of several lesson as follows:

1.       Sometimes we have to look behind before we move ahead to make sure all the mess behind us has been cleaned up. Flushed away from our consciousness making room for us to move forward with a clean slate.

2.       Always check what we have done to make sure we leave a trail someone wants to follow not run away from.

3.       The closest stall is not always the best stall. We need to remember to give ourselves a little extra time to get to another stall in the event the first one is not clean. Don’t wait to the last minute to do what we have to do because then we have to make choices we often don’t want to make.

4.       Make sure whatever we leave is as clean as we would like it. As good as we found it - if not better. Be considerate.

5.        Be prepared to break routines when things are not as clean as we would like for them to be. Change tactics. Don’t get angry. Move to the next stall. The next thing. It’s all about choices.

6.       Just flush the toilet and move to the next one so no one else has to see what we saw. In other words sometimes cleaning up someone else’s mess is not as bad as we think particularly if it makes life easier for the next person. And for us.

7.       There is more than one stall in most bathrooms. It’s all about timing and choices. Just like life there is more than one direction to take, more than one choice to make. As long as we remain open to change.

Amazing life right?  Who would have thought I would have learnt something from a temperamental toilet in the first bathroom stall at work? Reminding me there are lessons in every experience of our lives. No matter how trivial and mundane they may appear on the surface. Because they are the ones that often torment us the most. They are there for a reason. Nonflushing toilets and all. To remind us to be considerate, patient, clean and mindful of from when we have come.

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There's a place deep within us all

There’s a place deep inside of all of us that knows exactly what we want and need. A place where dreams are created. Where inspiration and aspiration thrive. Where fairies dance and leprechauns sing without being suppressed.

There’s a place deep within us all where imagination soars. Where ego does not exist. Where stories come from. Where freedom lives.

There’s a place within us all that understands and knows the mysteries of life. Where fantasy is reality . Where reality is fantasy. Where there is light inside of darkness.

There’s a place within us all called silence and reverence. Where we can access the Divine. Where we can see there is no beginning or end. Where we can love abundantly. Where we can sing like the best songstress in the world. Where we can dance like the best dancer in the world. Where we can be whatever we want to be. Fluid. Dynamic.

There’s a place deep within us all that says I am because I am. That allows the true essence of our being to roam freely. With no inhibitions. No fear. No restrictions.

There’s a place where when we close our eyes and ask the Divine to hear our prayers, our innermost desire, we can see clearly. That place is accessible to us at all times when we allow ourselves to stop and listen and be still. Very still. Without interference. Without judgement.

That place is there for us all when we truly want it. It’s a hard place to remain in because we see what we want and we fear it. We don’t believe in it. We don’t think we deserve it. We don’t want to believe we have the power to shift our lives because sometimes it’s easier to look for blame outside of ourselves. Easier to point our finger at our circumstances for explanations of why we are where we are. Rather than accepting we create the circumstances because of the choices we make.

Rather than stilling ourselves for as long as it takes us to access that place deep within us that knows who we are and why we are. Rather than accepting who we are and why we are. Rather than confronting who we are and why we are.

There’s a place deep within us all that knows exactly what we need and what we want. It’s a place that whispers to us when we are lost; “I am here with you always when you need me. When you are still and listen. I am because you are because we are because it is. I am he is she is it is all. I am you and you are me.”

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Morning has broken

“Morning has broken. Like the first morning.  Blackbird has spoken. Like the first bird. Praise for the singing. Praise for the morning. Praise for them springing fresh from the world.”

Those were the words that came to mind this morning when I woke up. Feeling the innocence of my youth flowing through me. When I used to sing that song in assembly feeling like the world was my own. When I believed in my dreams. When I thought my possibilities were endless.

And then I opened the blinds to see a perfect day breaking. I woke this morning with the mindset of setting a good intention for the day, for the week. To start this week of with purpose and positivity. And when I opened the window I was greeted by nature at its best.

Different hues of orange and red as the clouds floated across the sky against the backdrop of the rising sun. A gentle breeze wafting through my slightly opened windows. A stillness that’s almost indescribable. Silhouettes of the trees and leaves against the dawn sky.

And I felt the force of life and abundance flow through me. Accepting there are some things we are not meant to understand. Accepting I am limited in my human beliefs. But surrounded by the infinite of the Universe I exist within.

Grateful that I am here living and breathing for another day. Grateful that I really do have all I need to be here.

Watching a little kiskadee sitting on the chair directly outside my window. Wondering what the tapping noise of my keyboard is. His head angling toward me with every tap. Listening to the sound of the rooster shouting his morning sound. Understanding there is so much in the world. So much to go around.

Feeling so confident and secure in where I am for the moment. Holding on to that feeling while it last. Not trying to superimpose anything on it.

Not panicking because I can’t get online. Just writing and hoping that when the time is right I will find a connection. Filling myself up with the possibilities that exist for me today. Praying that I will keep my eyes and ears and all of me open to every possibility that presents itself to me even when it may frighten me.

Feeling a tingling sensation going through my whole body because I have set my intention for the day. To be as open, as compassionate, as loving, as giving, and as forgiving as I possibly can in order to attract what is rightfully mine.

Here’s to another week. This time with gratitude. And as I type these last words, my Internet connection just came on. Proving to me that when we surrender and accept a solution is always found. And for this lesson I am truly grateful.

And then I listened to Cat Stevens singing Morning has Broken. Filling me with incredible joy. Try it. It will make your heart, mind, body and soul sing. Glory to this morning and this day. A new beginning.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oa-mWuBY-is.

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Going back to the basics of life

It’s a beautiful Saturday morning. The sun is out in full blast. A gentle breeze is blowing. The sky has that Bermuda haze that lets you know it’s going to be a humid day.

I should be out doing what I have to do but I felt compelled to sit and write and explore the stuff that’s going on inside me. To understand the chatter that is relentless. Asking me to question what it is that I want out of life instead of wishing. Asking me to have the nerve to ask for what I want instead of wishing. Asking me to just go for it and let the chips fall where they may. Instead of wishing.

I woke up this morning with the sun streaming through my windows. Feeding me with light and hope. Letting me know that I am a part of all of this. So what am I? A contributor or taker.

Lately I have had the urge to do more. Be more. Be of service to our society. Instead of sitting on the sidelines and complain about everything and do nothing to change. Change comes from a place deep within all of us.

Perhaps I am thinking too large. Trying to be too grandiose in my way of thinking. Perhaps I just need to accept that I cannot go out into the world and change other people but I can change the way I view the world and my place in it. And then I will accept who I am and be who I am allowing those that desire to be instruments of change to come into my space. Feeding enlightened energy. Combining our energies and spreading it to others who come into our space.

So is this what the Universe is trying to tell me? That instead of looking for the next big thing, “I have to go back to the basics of life: forgiveness, courage, gratitude, love and human. I seek inner peace.” Thanks Louise Hay Quote of the Day for being my guide. For helping me to see by going back to the basics of life, I will I be of service that I want to be because I will be a part of the positive energy our society desires.

Yes I think it is and that is exactly what I want to do and will do. I will use the energy that poured into me this morning with the rising sun and use my intention of being a beacon of light today and see what the day brings. Not expecting. Not interfering. Just being a contributor. Not trying to take anything from anyone or anything. Just giving.

Happy Saturday everyone.

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It's the first day of June

It’s the first day of June today. Another new month to explore. Another new beginning. Reminding me that there are new beginnings every time we wake up in the morning. Every time we turn the page on something in our lives.

Every time a new month comes along I am reminded of how quickly life is slipping by. How time is not waiting for me or for anyone else. It is ticking along because that’s what it does. Can you believe we are halfway through this year already? I can’t. I remember the beginning of the year coming around and I was thinking about what lay ahead for me. Instead of focusing on what was right in front of me.

And now here it is six months gone and I realise I still have so much living to do. So much possibility I have yet to explore because I think I have so much time to do it in. But time is reminding me I don’t if I don’t seize the moment. Be in the moment.

 I woke up to the sound of pouring rain for the first of June contrary to all the weather reports . Reminding me that we can not predict Mother Nature. She is as temperamental as it comes. Surprising us when we least expect.

I am looking out the window and it is grey, pouring with rain and not a glimmer of sunlight anywhere. The sound of the rain coming and going. Sometimes thunderous.  Other times delicate.  And whenever it stops I can hear the sound of nature coming alive. The tree frogs singing. The birds chirping back and forth. Their volume increases after each downpour. Relief mixed with joy is the sound.

Making me question whether their volume has increased or is it just that I can hear them again because there is a change in sound. Have they been singing all along but because they are constant background noise I don’t hear them unless there is a change?

Is this my lesson for today? That sometimes we have to remember and appreciate what’s there in the background every single day. Not take it for granted. Not dismiss its importance or presence. Are the things in the background of our lives there to provide a touchstone for us all? To remind us we need them in our lives every day to remain focused. Constantly there even when all else around us is changing.

It’s dark and rainy outside on this first day of June. The month when Spring gives way to Sumner. When Hurricane season officially starts. When heat unlike any other comes rolling in. When the longest daylight of the year occurs. And then it gradually gets shorter each day thereafter.

And today is not what I expected reminding me to expect the unexpected and just go with it. Feel it. Ride it. Live it and be grateful for every unexpected moment as well as expected ones. Here’s to a month of change – the only constant in our lives. And here’s to the pouring rain. Background characters, sounds and things that ground us. Keep us focused.

Here’s to the month of June. Whatever it may bring. Miracles. Surprises. Magic. Shifts. The Expected and Unexpected.  And the Unexplained.

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