Closing and Opening

I have a ritual. Every night I close the blinds in my house. On all 44 windows. I walk from one to the other shutting out the outside world. Honing in on the inside and intimate world of me and my family. Allowing myself to feel safe and cocooned from everything that is going on outside of me and my family. Outside of my home. Allowing me to focus on calming my thoughts. Reflecting on the day. The coziness of home. The comfort of home and family. Releasing any tensions without fear of reprehension.

Every morning when I wake up I open the blinds in my office. Slowly opening my mind to the outside. Readying myself  to see what the day brings. Readying myself to see the dawning of a new day. Readying myself to start inviting the outside back into my life. Readying myself to embrace all that is outside of me and my family. Readying myself to the light of a new day.

As the morning progresses and my family begins to wake, I walk around to the rest of the windows opening the blinds allowing the full outside in. Seeing the new day from different vantage points.

Every day I carry out this ritual. Feeling uncomfortable if I don’t do it. Feeling like something is missing if I don’t. I know I need to close out the outside at night both metaphorically and physically. The act of closing down the blinds in my house does that for me. It provides me with the physical act of saying good bye to the outside. Allowing me to go to a place deep within me to process what has happened during my day without any outside influences  - which is why I rarely talk on the telephone to anyone at night. And then when it is time for my family to separate. The children in bed. My husband doing his thing. I have the time to be alone. To contemplate. To write my grateful journal. To do what I need to wind the day down. To wind my mind down.

But then when I awake in the morning, the closed down house feels like I am hemmed in so I need to open the blinds. I need to let the light of the new day, even if it is grey, to come through my windows. Stream through my consciousness. Waking me up to going outside of me and my family again. I need to mentally prepare myself for going out there again. Out in the outside world. Opening the blinds provides me with the physical means of remembering I will be starting over again. A new day. But I have made peace with nature watching it change even before I step outside the door. Letting me know that change is good. Change is necessary. As long as we take the time to be with ourselves, nothing on the outside can affect us unless we allow it. Unless it is time for it to impact us.

Remembering that we have to open and close ourselves in order to know ourselves. In order to know who we are and what we are capable of. My ritual of closing and opening the blinds does that for me. Because it lets me know to every ending there is a beginning and to every beginning there is an ending. Opening and Closing. Closing and Opening. Embracing the process of change through my simple ritual of closing and opening my blinds every day.