Each one of us is a radiant being @Oprah

How many times have we looked in the mirrors and hated what we saw looking back at us. Chastising ourselves for the physical reflection of who we are so much that we end up hating our bodies which in turn translates to us hating ourselves. Hiding from the image of who we are. Hiding from the physical reflection of who we are. Shrinking away from the full life we are meant to be living.

I know I have done it from time to time. Angry. Disappointed with the image I see in the mirror. Wishing for the physical image of what I looked like as a teenager, twenty something year old. And I realize what happens when I do this. I end up feeding myself junk because I feel like junk. I end up eating chocolate and sweets because as Larry Trott asked me one day, “What sweet is missing in your life that you are filling yourself up with artificial sweet?” At first I was offended by his statement but when I reflected on it, I realized how true his question was. I was depriving myself of the sweetness that I have naturally within me because I did not like the way I looked so instead I was filling myself with junk stuff to try to fill the void.

Doing the 21 day Oprah and Deepak Chopra challenge today brought those concerns to the forefront of my mind when Oprah said, “Each one of us is a radiant being. Beautiful and perfect as we are created. Exactly as we are.” Powerful words.

If we step back and think about it, we each came here in the physical bodies we asked for. To learn the lessons we need to learn. And sometimes it means we have to be overweight, underweight, be paralyzed, have no legs, or arms, large breasts, small breasts, blind, deaf, serious illnesses, etc, etc. Because we chosen to learn that lesson and when we try to change what we asked to come here to learn, we find we frustrate ourselves because our bodies have a memory. And no matter how many deprivation diets we go on. No matter how many miracle doctors we go to to correct our problem, if that is not the lesson we came here to learn, we will find our bodies going back to where they are meant to be so we can learn the self love we asked for.

We need to start seeing ourselves as the sacred beings that we are. Created by something much larger than ourselves and live our lives as we feel from the depths of our hearts. When something is too difficult or we are struggling too much, it is not meant for us. So we have to learn to let it go. To surrender it and embrace with gratitude and love where we find ourselves.

What we need to do is change our programming. Change the internal messages we are sending ourselves to saying as Deepak Chopra says,

“I am whole. I am beautiful, I am perfect . Just as I am.”

Only then will we be able to create the feedback loops that send positive messages throughout our cells and body allowing us to embrace and acknowledge our flaws, nurture them. So they will feel better making us feel better because we have acknowledged them and fed them with love and gratitude in order for us to say with conviction and belief that,

“I am perfection. I am healthy. I am strong.” As I am where I am every single day of my life. And only then will be representative of the beauty that is within me when I embrace my physical flaws as they are for the joy, lessons and gifts they bring into my life every single day. Namaste.

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Remembering the power of choice on a special day

This morning I woke up with such love. Such peace. Such joy. It is the day my first born came into the world. My world. My husband’s world. Enlarging our family and our capacity for love.

I woke up with a warmth flowing through me as I remembered the day fourteen years ago when my son and I first met physically because I know we have always been connected spiritually. Remembering the wonder and fear I felt when our eyes met. Remembering the rush of feelings as clear as if it was today.

Marveling at how quickly those fourteen years have sped by. Yes my son is now 14 and I am still in awe of how quickly life has changed. How he has changed but at the core has remained the same. How we have changed but at the core remained the same .

Reflecting on how our family is a family of love and giving and it started with the love of my husband and me first. Building the foundation upon which a loving family could grow and flourish. And continues with each day that we make the choice to love instead of resist. To go with the flow rather than trying so hard to create an outcome. How we learn the power of choice to let in negativity or let go and allow space for positivity in our lives.

It is also the day that my mother in law was born some 86 year ago in cold and rainy Gateshead, England, a world far away from the world my son was born into fourteen years ago, in sunny Bermuda. I thought about their connection this morning. Spirits reconnecting some 72 years later. Continuing on a journey that started before the physical one began. And I smiled because their births, both on the Ides of March, are to remind me there are no coincidences in life. Everything that happens is meant to happen to help us on our journey called life.

As I was bursting with feelings of love, I sat down to do Day 5 of the 21 day meditation challenge with Oprah and Deepak Chopra and was overjoyed to find this quote, “Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them.” Marcus Aurelius. And I exhaled. Knowing the Universe is shining down on me and my family. Asking us to always see the beauty of life even when it is showing us its ugly side. To remember the stars are always there for us, bringing light to our darkest night.

Telling us as Ms. Oprah so eloquently said in the run up to the meditation, “In every moment, we have the power to choose our attitudes and reaction to every situation and person we encounter. With every experience we are painting our canvas. Thought by thought. Choice by choice.  When we approach our lives with a sense of openness, we begin to embrace that co creative power of mind and body and become more tuned to choices that nurture us physically, mentally, spiritually. ..So making the most nourishing choice is the both a practice and an opportunity for us to grow."

Powerful words on a wonderful day full of love for me. Helping me to remember the power of choice is the key to a healthy mind that creates a healthy body. And allows us the capacity to love unconditionally. As I do my husband, son, and daughter because I am learning from them the power of choice. The power of love.

What a beautiful lesson on the day of the birth of my mother-in-law and son. A day of love, joy, and a healthy mind and body. 

Happy birthday to my beautiful and handsome son. My young man. And to my mother-in-law, the woman who gave me my husband and father of my children. Filling my heart, soul, spirit and home with an ever changing and growing love. Fuelled by the power of choice. The power of love. Namaste

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Accepting life is changing me. Growing me

When we are at our most uncertain

That is when life is changing us

Growing us

Testing our will

As to what it is 

We really want out of life

Even when we feel like we can’t go on 

Anymore

That everything around us is too daunting

Too overwhelming

That is when life is growing us

 Changing us

Even when we feel like no one is on our side

And we are fighting a losing battle

That is when life is changing us

Growing us

Even when we feel like there is no sun

Only twilight

That is when life is changing us

Growing us

Reminding us

There is always light 

In some part of the world

The world we are a part of

It’s just not our time to see it

But when the time is right

The light will come back to us

It always does

Because it is there for us all

So on those days when we want to stay in bed

Hide from the world

Silence our cravings and desires

That’s when life is calling to us

Asking us to stop resisting what is meant to be

Asking us to stop using our brains

Telling us to use our hearts

Our inner voices

Our intuition

To guide us to where we are meant to be

Whispering to us

To remember

In our greatest periods of uncertainty

We become the caterpillar

Who goes deep within its cocoon

And there we rest

In the darkness

Almost as if we have died

And then when the time is right

We struggle through the painful metamorphosis

Squeezing ourselves out of our cocoon

Taking the time necessary for our transformation to occur

Not rushing it

Not taking too long

So when we emerge

Our wings are ready

Our body has reshaped

Allowing our mind to accept

We are no longer a caterpillar

But a butterfly now

Giving us the capacity

To look out and over our new horizon

And spread our wings

Trusting our new bodies

Our new form

And we take off

And fly

As if we have done it all our lives

Letting us know

The darkness

The struggle

Are all necessary

For our evolution

And transformation

And if we don’t resist

We transform and grow

Into who we are meant to be

With gratitude and love

So today even in the midst of

Darkness and struggle

I accept

Life is changing me

Growing me

From who I was

To who I am

Capable of being.

Namaste

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The intuitive mind is a sacred gift

Who is in charge of my life? Who makes the decisions in my life? How did I get on the path I find myself on?

In Day 3 of the Deepak Chopra and Oprah 21 day meditation challenge, Deepak Chopra quoted from Einstein something so profound that I nearly stopped breathing because it resonated with me on such a deep and profound level. And what he said was this,

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift. The rational mind is a faithful servant.”

He then went on to say we have created a society where we honour the servant and forget the gift. Wow. I instantly felt what he was saying at a very deep level. We honour the servant but forget the gift. A statement I was meant to hear because my whole being tingled when I heard it. Telling my mind, body and spirit to pay attention. To take heed. To understand.

We are so bombarded with outside influences on an instant and constant basis – the Internet, television, movies, computer games, etc, etc. We have become such a visually stimulated society that we give our intuitive voice very little time to be heard and acknowledged.

We are so busy being busy that we give ourselves so little time to go into the stillness. So little time to block out the external distractions and noise that we often can’t hear or feel  the gift of our intuitive minds because our rational minds have become so much more dominant. Our society is constantly telling us what we should do, what we should look like, what we should read, what we should anticipate and what we should believe. Creating for us images that are not sustainable nor pleasurable over the long term. Creating a falseness that destroys our core. Destroys our essence selves by placing us purely in the physical rather than in the spiritual. And the way our society does it is through creating fear and self loathing.

By making us believe the world is so dangerous. Showing us the conflict and strife in our world, the scarcity. Making us believe we are inadequate. Rather than showing us the abundance , the peace makers, the beauty that surrounds us every day. Instead we are bombarded with bad news. Putting us in flight mode rather than right mode so we use our rational minds to make decisions for us rather than the intuitive mind.

In order to come back to the questions I asked initially, who is in charge of my life? Who makes the decisions in my life? How do I find myself on this path? I know for sure after this meditation that 

only I am responsible for my life. Only I am to blame or to applaud for the choices I make. Either by listening to or going against my intuition. Either by being someone that feels good to me or trying to be someone that feels good to others. And knowing with each choice I make, my mind, body and spirit will respond by being in balance or by being totally out of balance.

To be balanced and live the life I am meant to live, I need to give myself time to shut off my rational mind every single day and focus on my intuitive mind. To bring my mind, body and spirit back into alignment I need to honour the gift of my intuitive mind and allow my rational mind to be the faithful servant it is meant to be.

Only then will my mind, body and spirit be in perfect sync. And only then will I feel content with the decisions I make, the choices I make and the path I take. Only then will I be free.

Because I will remember and respect that the intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. And I will live by the power of the natural order and flow of the Universe given to me at all times by the wisdom and direction of the third eye – my intuitive mind. Wow. What power I have when I go within and not without. Namaste.

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@Sheryl Sandberg, the lightning rod for change

Sheryl Sandberg, the lightning rod for women’s issues. Every once in a while someone emerges as the lightning rod - the one to take the strike in order for the rest of us to sit up and pay attention. To become aware. To dialogue. Whether she wanted to or not, Sheryl Sandberg has emerged as that person, that woman, the one to take the lightning strike to open the dialogue about women, between women, and for women. To open the dialogue about where we fit in the Corporate white male Boy’s Club, where we sit on Boards, whether we want to or not. Or whatever way we want to lean – whether in or out.

I have to admit the first time I had ever heard of Sheryl Sandberg was when she interviewed Oprah on Facebook. I watched the interview because it was about Oprah. Not expecting to be equally enamored by this woman Sheryl Sandberg. But I was just as mesmerized with her as I was with Oprah. Not easily done let me tell you. Oprah is way up there in my estimation.

Yet Sandberg’s  presence was just as dynamic as Oprah’s. Her poise refreshing. Her sense of awe of Oprah surprising. But most of all I was struck by how articulate, direct, playful and complex her personality was. A woman of presence. In command of who she is and what she wants.

And then I lost sight of her. Every once in a while she emerged again but not in as high a profile as she has reemerged this time with her controversial book called Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead. I once again have to admit when I first heard about her book and her stance; I was irritated that she had become the lightning rod for women’s issues. Irritated that she was quoted as saying it was easy for women to lean in rather than out. Hearing her comments from third party sources without hearing them from her directly had caused me to condemn this woman. Jumping on the bandwagon of how disappointed I was in a woman like Sandberg who has the ability to really light up the world with the power of women making such sweeping and damning statements about women. Leaving room for interpretation, misrepresentation and hysteria on my behalf and lots of other women as has been the case with Sandberg.

And then I watched her being interviewed on 60 Minutes and my whole opinion and outlook on her changed. Once again I saw the woman I saw who interviewed Oprah. I saw the woman who is just like me deep down inside. A woman who embodies the spirit of every woman.  The same vulnerabilities, insecurities and guilt. She may have reached dizzying heights in her career at the young age of 43 but she still grapples, as do many of us women, with feelings of guilt of trying to find the balance between motherhood and career, career and wife, career and work life balance. If such Nirvana actually does exist.

I saw in Sandberg’s eyes the desire to be accepted, respected, liked, and validated as do we all. And most of all I saw and heard a women not advocating that every woman has to ‘lean in’, I saw quite the contraire. I saw a woman who wants to empower those women who do want to ‘lean in’ with the tools to be able to do so.

Unlike the articles that have been printed about her, the stories that have been hitting the airwaves, the cover of Time magazine depicting Sandberg as creating a cat fight with women, Sheryl is not trying to do any of that. She is not trying to pit women against each other. Nor is she trying to make women feel bad for the choices we have made. I discovered she is using her influence, her high profile position, to draw attention to the plight of women who want to ‘lean in’ but can’t and wonder why not.

She is drawing attention to the fact that women should not be afraid to negotiate higher salaries, contribute in  meetings, accept and embrace our worthiness and be proud of who we are where we are for what we are. That we should not shrink into the background and not be seen if we want to make it into boardrooms and C-Suites. That our contributions are just as worthy as those of our male counterparts. And we should speak and act with authority without apology and without guilt if our choice is to 'lean in'.

So Sheryl I thank you for being the lightning rod to open the dialogue again. To take the strike for all the women who choose to ‘lean in’. And for all the women who choose not to for whatever reason, let’s still rally together to help to raise up and offer the women who do. To assist them with the tools and support they need to penetrate the invisible glass ceiling that has come back with a vengeance so they too can help pave the way for the changing workforce. So they can be invaluable contributors to the global and diversifying workforce.

 I applaud you Sheryl for being the lightning rod, the catalyst for change, for taking the strike necessary to change the makeup of the Boardrooms and C-suite globally. For bringing the plight of women into the minds of those who take our contributions for granted.

I am rallying behind you, for you and beside you because you are every woman just as I am as she is as are we all. ‘Leaning in’ with support and grace. Strength in numbers. United we stand. Divided we fall. Namaste.

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A Prayer for me 3.11.13

3.11.10 My life changed in an instant. In a flash. It was 3 years ago today that I discovered I was about to be made redundant for the first time in my life. The job and staff I had worked hard to help create for two years was about to be suddenly and abruptly pulled out from under me. Without warning. Without preparation. In a very public and humiliating way. Turning my world upside down. Causing me to pause. To stop. To try to figure out what it is that I want from life.

So I did. I stopped. I paused. I contemplated. Allowed myself to feel a myriad of emotions, feelings, and aspirations. And before I knew it I was writing, walking, existing and then my period of contemplation and introspection was over and I was back in my career at the place where I first began in Bermuda. Going backwards to go forwards.

And here I sit three years later still grappling with the whys and the what fors. Still grappling with what I was meant to learn from that experience that has brought me back to where I began. When I look around at the people in my space, I see there are many who I need to complete the circle of life with because they are back in my life. Back in my career as if we are riding the same wave together. As if we are meant to share this life experience together. Our relationships have shifted in some cases. Our roles reversed. Allowing each one of us to see the view from the other’s perspective. Allowing each of us to contemplate how the choices we make put us where we are.

I sit here three years later still feeling like I am on shaky ground. Wondering whether I am doing what I am meant to be doing. Wondering whether the choices I have made are mine or those of others. Whether I am still placating the needs of others before my own.

So I closed my eyes this morning when I realized the date. The date that has resonated with a place deep down inside me and this is what I heard from that place of stillness,

There is more to life

Life is screaming at me

You have so much more to give

Life is screaming at me

Why are you hiding behind the limitations imposed upon you by others

Life is screaming at me

It’s time to step out of life’s mediocrity and onto the path of unlimited possibility

Life is screaming at me

Onto the path where your talents shine and are meant to shine

Life is screaming at me

Away from the place where people try to make you feel less than who you are

Life is screaming at me

To the place where opportunities are everywhere

Life is screaming at me

To the place of unlimited choices

Life is screaming at me

To the place where people accept there is universal abundance

Life is screaming at me

Okay life I answer back

Stop screaming at me

Please

Okay I answer back

Okay I answer back

Again

And Again

I am open

Willing

And able to step on to the path of unlimited possibility

Open

Ready

Willing and able

Today is 3.11.13

Three years later

I commit to pure existence

Pure love

Pure acceptance

Of the abundance the Universe has to offer

Giving as much as I receive

Letting go of the scarcity mentality

Letting go of old belief systems

Embracing the concept that there is more than enough for all of us

Accepting

I am more than worthy of receiving

So I commit

To stepping out of my own way

To allow all that is meant to be

To be

For me

Unapologetically and unequivocally

Amen.

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Like the butterfly

Breaking routines today and it feels so good. So liberating. Just being as my body, mind and spirit wants. Lying in bed for ages letting thoughts run through my mind. Not trying to process them. Not trying to find meaning to my life. Just being. And thinking and letting my body relax.

Seeing the sun come and go through my blinds as the clouds covered the sun shutting out the light. Plunging everything into darkness.  Listening to the downpour of torrential rain. Then hearing the howling wind as it pushed the clouds aside after the downpour to bring the sun and its light back again. A rhythm every few minutes. Light. Dark. Rain. Wind. Light. Dark. Wind Rain. Light. And on and on.

Marveling at life. The whole process of light and dark. Thinking about how my bedroom had been dark just hours before then it was flooded with light. Changing the perspective and shapes on my walls. The shadows replaced with light. Thinking life really is full of changes and the more I am able to embrace change the better I am.

The more I learn to grow and change as each day does rather than standing still and wondering why I am not satisfied with life, the better I am. The more I challenge myself to be what I feel inside rather than what the outside world wants me to be, the better I am.

Just like day turns to night. Night turns to day. Clouds give way to the sun. The sun giving way to the clouds. The wind blows . The wind stops. So do we. We are constantly being asked to be what we are here to be so all we need do is get out of our own way and be all that we are meant to be. All I need do is get out of my own way and be all I am meant to be.

And that’s what changing my routine this morning did for me. It allowed me the space, the scope to listen to me. To not be in the same pattern I am always in allowing room for new thoughts and perspectives to enter my space. To allow the butterflies that exist within me all the time to morph and spread their wigs. To feel the full space of infinity that exists within me all the time. Opening me up to the more that exists every single day within me.

Breaking routines this morning. Not pressuring myself to be anywhere, to do anything except to be with me and my thoughts was one of the most precious gifts I could give to myself today.

And for taking the time this morning to stop. To just be. To enjoy me. To love me. Filled me with such satisfaction and love it is difficult to articulate. But I know sometimes the greatest gifts we can ever give are the gifts that no one else can see, touch, feel or hear. They are the gifts that come from deep, deep within that allow us to be free to be who we are.

Here’s to a wonderful and joy filled weekend. Even with the wind blowing, the clouds obscuring the sun, the rain and the darkness, I know there is an infinite field of love and light that exists within me every single day of my life. When I am willing to surrender to who I am for what I am where I am, I become the most beautiful butterfly with the biggest and brightest wings. Embracing my dreams and living as I am meant to live and love. As I am today. Namaste.

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