Childhood memories

Father’s Day always conjures up so many memories for me. Particularly when I go to visit my dad as I did on Father’s Day. Particularly when I am alone as I was on Sunday. Driving past all my childhood spots and seeing just how drastically they have changed as have I.

Looking at the houses that I used to frequent as a young girl. No longer inhabited by the people that made a huge difference in my life. People who looked out for me, cajoled me, set me straight when I was out of line are now either dead or moved on to other places. But the buildings remain. Strange to see them but no longer the same. Physically intact but spiritually so different from when they housed people who helped to make me into the woman I am today.

Driving past the bank where we all used to sit for hours on end. No longer the bank but a huge house. Replacing our touchstone. Our gathering spot. The bank gone. Along with our secrets. Our talks. Strange how it felt to know my bank. The bank where  I sat when my brother came to call me on that ill fated day 37 years ago to take me home to find my life had changed forever. Now that bank is no longer there. Strange how it felt to not have that touchstone. To not be able to sit on that back ever again. In the same way I will never see my mother again in the form I knew her for 13 years.

But yet the memories of all those places, people and things remain. Rooted in my psyche. Imprinted on my heart. As if it was just yesterday. As if time had stood still. I could see all the faces of all the people who have now passed on as if they were standing in front of me. See them as clear as if they were here before me.

Nostalgia creeping back in for me to how things used to be. How things can never be the same again because that’s what life does for us. Grows us from our youth to where we stand today. Focused on the now. I thought back to all the plans I had. Plans that have changed and led me in directions different to what I had envisioned but somehow landing me in a better place. Exactly where I need to be.

Thinking back to when I roamed the hills with not a care in the world. When I thought I was invincible and the world was out there. Now looking back and seeing the memories of my past, I know life is for the living in each moment we get. I also know the world is not out there but it is in here. Inside of me.  Within me. And when we live with gratitude, love and appreciation , we are always led to where we need to be.

To my childhood memories of yesteryear I am truly grateful for helping to ground me in the here and now because that’s all that is promised to me. Reminding me though the physical may stay the spiritual changes greatly. Teaching us to live. Truly live in each moment we have. For though things may stay the same, they change drastically at the same time. For as Tim McGraw says, "We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere." So true. Namaste.