Lately I have been going nonstop. From one task to another. Sometimes not having time to even sleep very much because I am allowing myself to be pulled in so many different directions. Allowing myself to be overworked because I am not saying no. Last night I did not get to bed until 2.30 this morning. So really it was not even last night. It was this morning. Only to wake at 5.35 panicking because I had overslept by 35 minutes.
My eyes were barely open. My body shaking from sheer exhaustion. My reactions sometimes over the top because I am over exhausted. So I sat and meditated. Trying to calm my nerves and get my equilibrium back in order.
And during my meditation the scene of my family being together on our porch with our little girl rabbit Mysty came into my vision. And immediately the tenseness oozed out of my body and I could feel my whole being smile. Just seeing that vision of how we spent several hours of quality time together on our porch gave me the boost I needed to stop panicking.
And what I realized from this vision is sometimes I just need to stop. To take some time just to be. To do nothing but stare out in nature. And I got that feeling when I came home early from work. Not really early but on time from work and sat out on my porch with my family including our newest addition, our little girl rabbit, Mysty.
We sat and chatted while Mysty hopped from person to person seeking acknowledgment from each one of us. Wanting to be rubbed. Touched. And loved. She would stay by our sides for as long as she needed to feel our attention on her then she would move on. Spreading her sense of peace and love in her gentle silence. Reminding each one of us about the power of silence. About the power of just being.
I was transported back to when I was gazing out over our property. At the bluebirds flying in and out. At the trees gently blowing in the breeze. At the vibrant colours of the flowers in the yard. At the clear blue sky. My vision reminding me that life is not meant to be constantly rushed about. Not meant to be so busy that we don’t take the time to enjoy all that we are and have in the present moment.
Life is meant to be sitting with my family. Enjoying their company. Enjoying our home together. Doing nothing sometimes but just being in each other’s space. Appreciating each other’s company as little Mysty was showing us by hopping from one of us to the other. Looking out together over all that we are and have with gratitude and grace.
As the evening wore on and the conversation grew thin and we all retreated into our own worlds, the sound of the silence became that much more gratifying. That much more connecting. My son drawing. My husband, daughter and I reading. Coexisting as individuals in our family group. With Mysty stretched out on the tile in the middle of us all, I felt a deep sense of peace and gratitude for taking the time to do nothing. To not feel guilty for leaving work behind and fully being present with my family.
So this morning when I woke up tired and irritated about the amount that I have waiting for me. The people waiting for decisions from me. The busyness that is awaiting me outside my door, I inhaled, released the panic I originally felt when I thought about the vision in my meditation. The vision of how I had spent such quality time with my family. How we had spent time together by being fully satisfied to be in each other’s presence. By knowing that sometimes it is okay to just be rather than to do.
Reminding myself that I am only one person and I can only do so much. And sometimes that means saying no and giving myself the time to recharge. This is the only way I will be able to be fully present in my life and be able to offer all I can. Doing nothing is sometimes the best gift we can give ourselves. Because in that nothingness we fully connect with the All. Recharging us.m Refueling us. Namaste.
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