It seems that Thursdays are becoming my Mondays now. When I feel like I have run out of gas. When waking up at 5 becomes a chore rather than a blessing. When all I can do to muster up the strength to face the day is to get up at 5.30 or slightly thereafter because my mind, body and soul is so exhausted.
It seems that all the relaxation and joy I feel on Monday mornings about facing another work week is getting depleted by Thursday. From all the negative energy I am having to deflect. All the two facedness I am having to be strong about. All the bickering that is taking everything out of me. By Thursday I am trying really hard to not be judgemental. To not get in the mud and start slinging it like so many others.
I am breathing in and out. Telling myself that no one else is putting me in this state but me. So I am the only one who can get myself out of this downward spiral. Asking myself why am I dealing with all this chatter? Why do I find myself in the middle of battles that I have nothing to do with. What is it about me that I am attracting this heavy energy? That I am in the middle of the negative. In the middle of the mudslinging?
What am I being shown? I ask over and over again. Such that by Thursday, as in this morning, I am fighting to get out of bed. Fighting to find the energy that is more balanced. Fighting to find harmony and to project that harmony into my home life, workspace and onto those who so choose to cross my path. So this morning when I was meditating, I asked the Universe to deliver me from evil as in the words spoken in the Lord’s Prayer. For thine is the Kingdom, the power and the glory forever and ever. Amen.
Words I have not spoken for quite some time but they are there in the recesses of my brain like a mantra coming out when I need them. And then I opened my eyes and felt something telling me to open the windows. Not to put on the airconditioning but to open the windows and listen to all that is positive every single day. Listen to life waking up. To birds singing. To the smell of the new day beginning. And when I did, I could feel possibility floating back into my life on the freshness of the morning breeze. I could feel the positive of nature entering my space again allowing me to see there is more positive in our world than negative but when we cling to the negative and not open the window to allow in the positive, we lose sight of what we are here to do.
We lose sight of the fact that we are here to help each other. Not to hinder. Not to judge. Not to pull each other down. On the wisp of the fresh morning air and the birds chirping making space for me to understand when I remember what I am here to do, to support, to love, to be grateful for everything, the negative will not pull me down. Reminding me the negative is here to challenge me yes but not to pull me into its den.
And then I inhaled deeply. Exhaling slowly I could feel the gratitude for seeing another Thursday. For the blessing of waking up rather than feeling burdened by all that is happening around me. Remembering everything that is happening is happening for me to learn either how to be or how not to be.
Willing me to take everything and everyone in my life as blessings. As gifts from the Divine to teach me how to learn. Bring it on Thursday. Bring it on work. I am ready and armoured with the gifts, treasures and abundance of the Universe infusing me with love and light so I may share that love and light with those who cross my path. Remembering always it is up to me to walk away or to remain. And if I choose to remain, I do so with love and light and gratitude even in the midst of the mudslinging. For thine is the Kingdom. The power and the glory. Forever and ever. Amen. Within me. Not without me.And for this Thursday lesson, I am truly grateful.
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