When people judge us

 “If some one isn't what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should leave their lives, but none about his or her own.” Paul Coelho,  The Alchemist.

I love this quote because it reminds me when people judge us, they are really judging themselves. No one can know us in the way we know ourselves. So for some else to say who we are or who we are not is based on their viewpoint of themselves.

When people try to blame other people for things that happen in their lives, they are deflecting the attention away from the real reason they made the decision in the first place. No one can make us do anything except ourselves. No one can stop us from doing anything except ourselves. Sure people can put obstacles in the way of us achieving what we want but ultimately the decision is ours to not do what we want to do. It is never anyone else’s fault but our own.

We are all capable people who can when we are strong enough change direction in our lives, blossom and succeed but sometimes we want to become victims because we falsely believe it will protect us from being truly revealed. Protect us from “failing”. Protect us from being judged. We falsely believe when we become victims everyone will feel sorry for us and lower their expectations of us. And in some cases people will but the ones that do are the ones who want us to remain as victims so we can stay in our place and not challenge them.

And for those who like to play the victim, what they find is their lives never progress to the extent they thought their lives would. They remain on the sidelines jeering at those who make it to the centre stage. Then they try to pull down the ones who are brave enough to put themselves on the centre stage by becoming the passive aggressor. The ones who try to make the person who is succeeding believe they held the victim down.

They start to judge more than anything to justify their stagnant position. And when that happens what we have to do is move away from those who judge with love and surround ourselves with those who are truly rooting for us. Those who are truly in our lives because they believe in us not because they want to be in our space because we have made it to the centre stage.

Judging others is us revealing our innermost scars. Our judgments have no bearing on the lives of others except creating bad karma for ourselves. When people judge us, they are really judging themselves and likewise is true of us, when we judge others, we are judging ourselves. Revealing our deepest insecurities to the world.

So next time we judge someone, think about who are we really judging? And why?  The answers may help us to learn more about who we are and why we are….Only then will be able to free ourselves from the trap of not living our lives authentically because we will accept full responsibility for who we are and why we are.  Without judgment or blame. We are the creators and destroyers of our dreams. No one else.