This weekend my husband and I have watched both of our children blossoming before our eyes. Both of them experiencing a totally different city, culture and space to our own and loving every minute of it. Our daughter saying how much she loves London and now Oxford. The excitement. The people.
She told us she loved taking the tube. The more the better. According to my husband our daughter got very disappointed when they had to stay on one train the whole way of their journey. She loved hopping on and off the tube. Being amongst all the people. Going places and the escalators didn’t phase her in the least. As a matter of fact she wanted to be the first one on the escalators every time.
And then our London portion of our trip culminated in our daughter preforming in a Mama Mia production put on by her one week summer camp at the Sylvia Young Theatre School. To say my husband and I were surprised by the quality of the production is an understatement. Particularly since the camp was only for one week. The children from all parts of the world were en sync and seemed to thoroughly enjoy themselves.
We watched in awe as our daughter came into her own on the stage. Not in the least bit nervous to be amongst children she was a bit shy of just five days before. We saw our little girl who came home the first night disappointed that she did not get that many lines and was anxious to leave the camp grow into a young lady who decided to show the camp director what she had and the other children to have her role grow into several lines throughout the whole play. And by the end of the week had girls running up to hug her and tell her good bye. Girls exchanging contact details so they could keep in touch with each other. Strangers no more but kindred spirits who helped each other to put on a fantastic production.
We were so proud of our daughter for turning a bad situation into what then worked to her advantage. For seeing first hand that the only person that was holding her back was herself. For stepping into her own shoes and becoming what she thought she was capable of becoming in that week. Taking on the challenge of establishing herself in a land and amongst people foreign to herself and going for it while loving every aspect of it. We were and still are proud of her.
Then we got on the train to come to Oxford later that afternoon to see our wayward son. Yesterday we went to see him in his dorm room and were stunned to see how much he has grown in the week since we had last seen him. Now he is almost looking his father in the eyes. His voice deeper than when we last spoke with him. An independence coming from him since he had been left by us to experience dorm life. A maturity radiating from his inner core that was not there before.
Me wanting to stay in his room for as long as we could but sensing he wanted us to leave so he could get on with what he had intended to do that afternoon. Feeling him slipping away slowly but surely now that he has tasted freedom and knows he can get by on his own. Walking away from him slowly shutting the door but not before asking him if he needed his mommy for anything more.
His eyes meeting mine with a glimmer of amusement but not wanting to hurt my feelings saying, “I’m okay. Love you. Bye.” Closing the door and leaving him to get on with the remaining week of his programme.
Leading me to think how much joy our children get out of experiencing. Without our influence. Them being allowed to develop their own tastes. Their own thoughts and belief. Their own selves. Imagine if because I was so afraid of escalators I had not allowed my daughter to ride an escalator. I would have cheated her out of the experience of riding the tube and she would never have known just how much she loves being on the tube. And escalators for that matter.
And then knowing I had to close the door and let my son continue to grow even though all I wanted to do was stay and do his laundry and clean his room and make sure his homework was done. But he didn’t want me to do any of those things. He wanted to do things in his own fashion. So I had to let go. To let him go. So he can learn and grow of his own accord. Not of mine.
Helping me to accept we need to change our scenery from time to time to broaden our own horizons. To allow ourselves to get out of our comfort zones and challenge ourselves so we can see what it is we want out of life and what we don’t. What we are capable of handling and what we aren’t. And that also means we have to allow our children to do the same.
But above all else we have to be authentic to who we are and what we like because in doing so we allow our children to develop into their authentic selves by seeing we are doing the same. And the more we expose them the better of they will be. As shall we. Grateful for experiencing and letting go. Grateful for being a mother and a wife and a woman who is always learning and experiencing, Namaste.
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