We get everything we are

Man is free the instant he wants to be. Voltaire
I was on one of my favourite website, Positively Positive, when I saw this quote and it sent shivers down my spine.
It is a concept that I have been wrestling with for quite some time. Questions like how do I free my mind from the limitations I have placed on myself. Or from the limitations I have allowed people to place on me? How do I break out of the fear I have allowed to cause me to think I am so limited? Not worthy.
I have been reading a lot of stories about people surrendering to the Universe. Letting go and letting God. And wondering how we as humans can actually live without expectations, anticipation, attachment, projection and fear. How some people can embrace the surrendering concept while others can't.
Wondering what my purpose is in this life. Actually knowing what my purpose is in this life. To give love, light, peace and possibility to those that come into my space and in turn having them returned to me by sharing.
So why do I know what my purpose is but don't feel it all the time. Why do I sometimes allow the bars in my brain to slam down around me making me fear who I am amd what I am doing. Making me nervous to articulate to anyone what I represent. And am.
I was at a function the other night and someone asked me what turns me on outside of work. And I really had to think about it before I answered. I was almost embarrassed to say writing turns me on because I was trying to think of something so much more profound. I was trying to find something that would knock his socks off. He told me that he rode heavy motobikes, ran, skied and did all kinds of physical activities .
I was stumped because I felt like I did not have a life compared to his. I felt like I was not adventurous. That I was more interested in my mental and spiritual growth rather than my physical. And I was nervous to express that. He looked at me expectantly. Waiting for my answer.
I swallowed hard then quietly told him that I like to write. That I write every single day. That I write spiritual, how to find yourself stuff every single day. Yet I was too nervous to tell him that I write a blog. That I write my blog every single day even when he asked me what I do with my writing. Even when he asked me why I don't share my writing because there could be people who want to read what I write. I didn't tell him about my blog.
Why is it that writing is my passion yet I am afraid of its possibility. That I am afraid of being judged by people, particularly people that fall into my everyday work circle. My conversation with that person bothered me all night so when I saw the quote from Positively Positive, I knew I had to explore it. So I set it as the topic of my blog to see where it would take me. And interestingly enough it has taken me here. To remind me that I am only free when I want to be.
I need not be ashamed of who I am. Of what my passions are. And of what my possiblities are. I just have to embrace the freedom that is readily available to me. Without judgement. Without anticipation. Without attachment. That I have to let go and Let God. Surrender.
As Serena Dyer said in a blog she posted for Positively Positive, "You don't get what you want, you get what you are."   A wonderful reminder to me that freedom comes from knowing I am getting everything that I am and I need not be ashamed of it. And neither should you. Neither should we. Because we are all worthy of who we are. That's the only way we can be truly free.